Bullying. A huge problem in today's society. When the
word bullying comes to mind, most think of a smaller kid being shoved into a
locker by a bigger kid. Sure, that's big problem as much as anything else, but
a type of bullying always over looked, is self harm.
Numerous people think, "You can just stop" or '"It's their
own fault." Let me tell you this: it is never the persons own fault. We must
think about what caused this to even start, and how could it have been
prevented.
Most of self bullying is being negative towards your own
self, by putting yourself down with insults. For instance, thoughts like: "I'm
stupid." "I'm fat" "I'm disgusting." Another form of self harm is more known and
recognized, like cutting. Cutting is a form of release for most low self esteem
self bullies. Someone once said, "Words resonate and pulse in your head in a constant
way that physical pain could never defeat, but the physical pain would distract
you from the mental pain temporarily" People, who
physically harm themselves, will try to hide it. They won't willingly show it.
This is because those who do know it, find it gross or unappealing. They become
outcasts.
"Most people around me didn't understand or thought
it was disgusting or sacrilegious--the suicidal thoughts and self harm, I mean.
So I wouldn't talk about it, and tried to pretend that it didn't exist within
me, " stated an anonymous self bully.
Just one real example to prove how real self harm is. It
needs to be dealt with in a more serious manor, but because some self harmers
are so secretive and ashamed of what they do, you might never know they are
having inner conflicts. And they might never be helped and a tragedy could
happen. Suicide is a possibility unless we can help them.
How do we stop this? We can stop it by bringing
awareness, by making kids brave enough to share their feelings, and by
just trying to stop the popularity of many social media. I don't necessarily
mean Facebook or Instagram. I mean the spreading of how being skinny or toned
is what it takes to be beautiful. That is not okay. We need to tell children
that beauty isn't looks its how you hold yourself and show it to the world.
Just because ones self cannot see the beauty, does not mean another
cannot.
"I would see the older kids dressed in cool clothes,
listening to cool music, rebelling against their parents and the rest of
society, but they would cut themselves when they were frustrated," remarked an anonymous person, "I suppose in
every type of clique there are people who don't deal with their
properly, but the point is that social media kind of made self harm a constant,
available option, so it was always there in the back of my head."
Kids looking up to older people is a problem we will never
be able to control. But we can control how our kids learn to deal with stress.
That will help diminish less cause to cut or think negatively.
Sometimes children with low self esteem just need someone to be there for them, they need positive feedback from
family.
"I think it was largely due to the people in my
surrounding environment. They criticize rather than try to solve the problem,
and they don't realize how much their petty words affect others"
said an anonymous person.
The best key to helping someone with self harm is being
there. Letting them have a vent source, so maybe the physical harm never has to
come. Numerous people believe self harm is just to seek attention, it is not.
It is the last resort, they think it might be the only think to help them, if
they think anything can. A lot of people might even be searching for help, they
just do not know how to ask, or express themselves. Making them loose more hope
for themselves and falling farther into blaming themselves.
"Actually, a lot of times before I hurt myself, I
had tried to talked to someone about my problems but they would push me away,
and so I'd go up to my room, turn the lights off, sit in a corner and burn or
cut myself." admitted an anonymous self bully.
Maybe now the problem is sinking in; it is real and
people need help.
"Eventually I learned to keep it to myself, but it
shouldn't be like that, people should know there are people with these problems
that aren't just doing it for attention." one said.
Anyone who needs assistance or help in venting should
have it. No one should be afraid to ask for help.
Self bullying is a larger problem than anyone would
expect. It needs to be dealt with, not ignored. Lets bring awareness. Lets help
people. Lets make it not such a big deal.
If you need a sign, that someone cares about you, this is
it. I believe in you. And many others do too, even if you cannot see it.
